This is what it feels like to lose everything. Scratch that. Already been there. Felt that before.
This is what it feels like to know it’s gone for good.
So if losing everything is rock bottom, what is this? Is there anything beneath rock bottom?
It’s not much different than before. A little more intense at times. Still, the feeling has been around for months now.
Numbness. After all is lost, that’s what is left. Neutrality. Disinterest. Apathy, maybe.
Now, though, numbness with a side of kicked-in-the-teeth agony. But that’s stupid.
Why should it be agonizing? It’s not a surprise. Have known for a while. Knew it all along.
It’s not a sudden realization. It’s admission. Too bad that doesn’t mean acceptance.
Is that the answer? To accept it? Is there even a choice? Adapt and overcome?
Easier said than done. Have to try for that. Trying requires will.
But when all is lost, will is gone. So. What now?